Foolish 

– Want to have a strong relationship with Christ and being devoted to Christ 

– Goal vs plan 

– Know what you believe!!

Twin bed mattress 

Get bunk bed

Make work bench tool area

Hang pictures 

Finalize home and money agreement 

Finalize budget

Update income and donations/tithe

Give away stuff don’t want or need

Paint

Move forward with home making 

Make risers to put under Ama’s bed and roll bed under that for Azri to sleep in or sleep two directions 

Find what the kids love and do it – Ava dance – even YouTube 

Ama sewing 
—– Need to change and address —–

I want to let them vent, but it needs to be such that I don’t get riled up. So I need to be able to be calm and clear, set expectations and follow through. 

You may calm down and communicate respectfully, or you may give yourself some time in your room to calm down. 

Explain this at a calm time, then follow through. 

Can they destroy things?

Room not a punishment but a place to calm and collect themselves to be able to communicate respectfully. 

If they don’t go on their own, I will help them go to calm. (Maybe outside is better – especially for Ama)

It is not to avoid addressing something, but to calm so the communication can happen. 

“Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.”

I’ve been noticing that we have not been communicating respectfully to one another and I have an idea or plan on how we can work on that. 

When you have an idea for me or you disagree or you don’t like something, your response must always be from respect anyway. Your job is to obey and if you also want to ask or offer suggestions or share your thoughts be sure you are in a calm place to communicate that respectfully. There are times that we need to collect ourselves, calm, and ask for God to help us.  This may mean you step outside for a minute or walk to your room. Sometimes I need space too and sometimes I can’t leave what I’m doing to go take a walk or go to my room even if I want to, so I sometimes need you each to give me some space to allow me to calmly and respectfully communicate with you the way I want to. SO, sometimes, I will help you to take care of yourself and sometimes I will ask you to help me take care of myself. 

Can we do that for each other?  Can we love each other enough to help each other or help ourselves to be able to communicate in a calm respectful way because we love each other?

I really DO want to hear your thoughts and opinions, even if you have an idea of how we could do something different and I’m even ok with you telling me that you don’t like something. However, it needs to be done with respect. 

We have a model of this in scripture with Abraham pleading before God for Sodom and Gomorrah. God listened. Abraham was respectful. In the end God made the decision. In the end Abraham respected that God was in charge and God sees and understands more from his vantage point.  This is a model for us. Be respectful, share opinions and ideas, but then trust that mom and dad are making decisions we believe are absolutely best and we are seeing from a different vantage point. As with God in that scenario, we have greater responsibility over the big picture, so we must make the final decision. And, as with Abraham, you need to trust that we are doing what we understand us best and respect that. 

We all want to be in charge, but we can’t always be. God is in charge. He is my leader. And He has asked me to be your leader. And you are leaders to those younger and those around you. We all want to be the best leader. That requires respect, but also making the best choices even if those who you are leading don’t like it. 

For example, Adi, you are a leader over Azri in some ways. If you were outside and he was about to hurt himself with Granddad’s tool or running in the street, would you stop him even if he didn’t like it and got mad at you?  Yes. Why?  Because you love him and you understand what could happen better than he does yet.

Can we agree to work on this together?  Since we will do this together, let’s hold hands together and pray together. If this seems hard and you don’t want to do it, we will keep praying and I would like to be a better and more supportive role model for you. 
———– Sun. Message ———-

[False friends don’t show up when you need them most.]

Prov. 18

Galatians 4

Pragmatic – what’s right for you 

Relativism

More than one way
Am I walking this way?

Is it realistic that there are areas where pragmatism, relativism, and more than one way is valid?

Like parenting and teaching 

For example each of my children needs to be handled and trained up differently.  So it’s not the same for all of them. 

Like am I wrong to let my children yell and scream and tantrum in their own room?  Is it ok not to just make my child “obey,” but to allow to question with respect and share their opinion with calmness and respect?

And like at school – though one right answer for math for example, but there really is more than one way to come to that answer: using numbers and adding them, using tally marks, or using counters…

And issues/topics like at work about being non judgmental of yourself because it doesn’t serve you to judge yourself, but rather to recognize and focus on how you would like to do it more effectively.

I want to be sure I’m not caught wrongly in this. 

I need to be in God’s word all the time and play in car all the time. 

7:30 load up

8:00 conf, 3:00 conf

8:20-9:30 Finish grading and filling papers

Order party stuff

Check toys R us

Put clothes away

Tidy house

A kids’ clothes and toys

Email Gaila re David

Look for bunk bed 

Step stool, chocolate chips,

Super hero, Legos, submarines 

310 leave 

330 home 

Soccer gear 

Dinner

Leave by 450/5

Do I let go of my frustrations and expectations or discuss the need for priorities to match. 

Tithe/offering 

Soccer

Church

Wednesday 

Should have gone to ss instead. 
As with Sam – 90% attitude 10% action

With Sam – attitude is non judgmental, supporting, enjoying/have fun, model gratitude … not allow self to get agitated – doesn’t support anyone.  Getting loud, direct, firm… comes at times of safety need.

With scripture – love your neighbor as yourself (not judging, supporting, helping, building up not putting down, being patient, kind… stay positive and supportive … how can I not get agitated or loud etc unless it is a very serious safety or life and death matter.
Perhaps God has had me continue to work in this program to confront my anger or agitation, getting to the core of it, and find ways to move it to walking more effectively in life. 
Model all of what I want to see instead of just saying it. If I want the kids to LISTEN, I need to be an immediate, attentive, patient, respectful listener.  If I want my kids to be THANKFUL, I need to be thankful and speak acknowledgement, appreciation, and gratitude regularly, consistently…  If I want kids to have an attitude of HELPFULNESS and COOPERATION, I can model it by offering to and actively help – maybe verbalize more – “I’ll do the kitchen, what would you like to do?” Maybe if we plan to clean up before a movie – clearly without agitation, just patience and helpfulness and kindness explain that we can watch the movie once the house is tidy – we can do it cheerfully or with frustration (our choice), we can work together or on our own, we can watch and learn how to clean up or help do the things you know how to do…

Less sit down conversations and more very intentional modeling 

“They will know we are Christians by our love…” not just the words we say. 

“May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight oh Lord my rock and my redeemer.”
No negatively, complaining, arguing, shaming, 

Is it possible to have a way to disagree with our cultural and societal choices and speak disagreement etc without an attitude of judgment, shaming, criticism?  Is that Biblical?  Jesus WAS very direct, angry, loud, judgmental when he spoke to the money changers…

Remember God is in control 

Our joy is from our walk in the spirit not the conditions of our world out there or our circumstances…

I’d like to have open talks with the kids the way we have with our team and with Gerd.
I can walk in peace

If I want the world to NOT walk I’m ANXIETY and to walk in PEACE, i need to model walking in it. 

To do all this I need to WALK IN THE SPIRIT.

If I want my kids to be led by or WALK IN THE SPIRIT, I need to model that.

If you want a peaceful life you have to have peace with God. 

Can I do all this while communicating my needs?  Can I consider needs of others while also considering my own?  With Samantha I communicate my need for space.. it can all be done with gentleness and respect.  Not let myself get riled up by someone else 
I’d really like to go to church and I’d really like you to go with me, but you are an adult and I can’t make you. I’ll take the car at 10:15 if you two join me. 

Ways I’m trying to show you my love for you —

Write in a journal for each of us to see and read

Maybe separate one on each night stand 

Ways tried to show love and ways felt loved

Special notebook, pen, bookmark and way to indicate when written in. 

Above bed – come unto me all ye who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest

Above closet – clothe yourselves with a gentle and quiet spirit. AND/OR clothe yourselves with compassion…
Fix your mind on things above

Like a tree planted by streams of water

May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing…

Isa 40:28-31

Psalm 1:1-3
—

Family

Love my spouse 

Children walking in truth 

Put clothes away

Dishes away

Kids toys – sort and maybe organize (make bin of give away or questionable) 

Dust and wash walls in blue bathroom 

Clean middle bathroom 

Dad – check oven for pipe tightness