Notes

Pondering Hong Kong 4/27/17

I can not sleep again tonight as I can’t help but reflect on the trip God just sent us on. So, so many lessons and reminders. First I thought of the unique experiences and cultural differences the children had the privilege to be a part of. The little things like money, public transportation, and cultural norms and expectations such as allowing an older person to sit on the bus even if you are there first. Many lessons about travel and appreciation for something different than we know.

But then I think that all that, though worth the trip, was not the end all that I sense God had in store for me.

So very many lessons, first that God gave me my husband for a reason. Sometimes I think our extreme differences make it practically impossible to effectively work together, but it’s those very differences that God uses to make us one. I have struggled with trust since my parents separated oh about 30 years ago. Now, they since reunited and are amazing parents, but that difficulty to trust seems to have begun there. And, as Trevor and I started dating and got married I always felt I knew more or knew best, or maybe just needed that sense of control because, let’s face it, so much of life is about control and who has it. Surrendering to my husband felt scary and I always felt like there was a chance he was wrong. In the past 9 years, God has been challenging me ever so patiently to trust that He is leading my husband as he leads me, even though every miniscule way that God speaks to and works in and through my husband is completely different that how God speaks to me and works in and through me. My husband often comes across as though he’s running off a whim. Like when we moved 9 years ago and I felt strangely compelled to let him pick the church we should visit and immediately he had a church in mind. As quickly as the response came from his mouth the doubt and questioning came from my lips, “why there?!” He then explained his reasoning, which was far more than a whim, and we have been at the church ever since with 100% confidence from the first service we visited, Easter of 2009, that this was where God had us. Each time as these years have gone by that I feel compelled to follow my husband’s lead I second guess him and doubt, and each time God shows me that he was right. Now, neither my husband nor I am right all the time or perfect, but those times that it feels clear that I need to follow, I am realizing that it is God I’m following and he is using my husband who so patiently bears with my lack of faith just as my heavenly father does.

So, on March 27, when my husband came home from work suggesting in what only seemed craziness to me, that we take the kids to Hong Kong over Easter break, I doubted his genuine forethought. I doubted the value of spending the money. But, as I began to pray and wrestle over the idea, I came face to face with my greatest fears of late. The anxiety that has become so debilitating: the fear of my own health – the ability to eat food and not be afraid that I would have an allergic reaction, have my throat close, and die. Knowing the improbability of this doesn’t change the bondage. But, just before we started our women’s Bible Study on the armor of God, I felt Good telling me to stop let the enemy have a hold on my life and actively choose to trust God. To take hold of the truths in God’s word and hold on to truth not the lies of the enemy: Satan, the deceiver. The holy Spirit brought to my mind such passages of scripture as, “Cast all your cares on him for he cares for you.”. ” do not be anxious about anything but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” And “come unto me all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, for my yoke is easy and my burden. Is light and you will find rest for your souls.”. I felt the need to verbally tell the enemy to leave and tell God that I am choosing to have him carry my burden. That I’m choosing not to let anxiety and fear rule over me. That I’m choosing to cast my cares on Him. That, in life or in death, should he so choose, I trust Him.

I then began to sense that this trip to Hong Kong was to be a test of my faith. That God wanted me to follow the lead of my husband and trust God the whole way. It was like God was telling me that I needed to take that step of faith on an invisible bridge over a ravine, trusting the bridge would be there. Only He told me not to timidly take a step of faith, tapping my foot forward slowly to be sure there really was a bridge beneath, but to run toward Him in complete faith as He waited at the end of the unforeseen bridge for me. So, I said yes to the trip and tickets began to be purchased on April 2nd.

Having dealt with anxiety and panic attacks since February of 2015 when Adeliza and I were in a car accident

The prep was not easy and I almost had us delay the trip. The kids were sick beginning April 8th with that fever flu thing. It just kept lingering. Then, the Saturday before we were to leave, I came down with it. Then the cough and congestion, which is actually still working itself out. But we, being all fever free for at least 24-48 hours, boarded that 15 hour flight on Tuesday the 18th to depart at 1:00pm. We somehow got everything purchased and packed despite feeling awful and having no opportunity to shop once the 8th came. We missed every single planned event leading up to the trip: church (Sundays and Wednesday), gymnastics, dinner at our local Chinese restaurant to eat and talk to her about Hong Kong, our family Passover Seder, Good Friday service, the Saturday Easter event at our church, Easter dinner celebration with Trevor’s family, Easter Sunday service, and Easter family gathering and egg hunt with my family. However, through it all, God gave me the ability to be ok with it.

I sensed God guide all the way, even amidst the challenges. It wasn’t a walk.in the park, but Good was walking with me and I’d rather a walk with Him by my side through whatever life might bring than a walk in the park without Him.

I broke down with my sister even before leaving just sharing that I knew no one could tell, but I was already facing so many Giants and it was hard. The tears and company helped me breathe and keep going.

I was so encouraged on the flight as I had more peace than expected flying, even on the most turbulent flight I’ve ever been on. And, I was so thankful several hours in that God had given me the peace to eat the chicken with housin sauce and the mango sorbet. I felt so encouraged. And, I took throat lozenges that I’d never taken before and vitamin C with bo hesitation. Giants that others would have walked right passed without noticing. These faced fears were huge successes. THEN four hours in things changed. The dry air made it so hard to breathe and even cough. I began getting nervous that we had over 10 hours left, how would I make it. I began breathing in my hands to sty to provide moisture, then used a damp cloth, then a cup of hot water to help steam me. As I was getting worse, I heard over the intercom a call for a medical professional that might be aboard. I then learned that just rows behind me a woman was having an allergic reaction to something she’d eaten – fear of all fears. And at that moment I cried and fervently prayed and was also overwhelming encouraged. I cried for my fear and hers, I prayed for God’s intervention over this woman, and I praised God for the reassurance that if I needed any medical help, which I wouldn’t, there WAS a doctor on the flight and she was a kind, gentle, and compassionate woman. The next 10-11 hours were long, but we landed and we were safe.

We made it smoothly to Noah’s Ark and skipped dinner as we were exhausted.

The next morning we ate at the buffet of mostly more traditional Cantonese breakfast – noodles, soups, etc. I did have oatmeal and forced myself to have bread and butter and some dry cereal. These were successes, but my body needed more. I felt pretty bad that day: tingly, dizzy, wobbly. Azri and I napped while the others played and I made myself eat some beef jerky knowing I needed protein. (Another success.) Eventually we joined and I made myself eat a melted ham and cheese sandwich. We spent a lot of time walking and at the various sections of Noah’s Ark. My favorite part was making wash cloth cupcakes for loved ones and the rain/storm experience. The lesson was that no matter what life throws you, you have the rain coat on and that rain coat represented our support people in our lives, and I believe most importantly, God. No matter what happens in life, it is our attitude that makes the difference.

At dinner I forced myself to eat bread and meat (successes). I still didn’t feel well and I emailed my doctors during the early morning to see if my worsening symptoms warranted a visit to the doctor. One said yes and the other said no, it was just this miserable virus. Trevor said to trust that I did not need to be seen so I did not go. My doctor suggested eating lots of protein and not branching out too much with food. This actually gave me peace to eat more, but not stress about challenging myself so much as to trying super unusual foods. Maybe this was lack of faith, but there was peace I’m it.

Thank you, God, for helping us even get here to be on the plane with all of us sick.

You know how scared I was last night, but You helped me – gave me ideas, gave me peace… By this morning my breathing and cough was less concerning and my body discomfort was at the forefront.
I took acv, honey, lemon, and salt water gargle last night.

Today I took a vitamin c and tothena shower and 2 gelsemium, the 1 ibuprofen at 845 and one about 3 with lunch.

I texted Rosy and Danielle and Ashley and they were encouraging.

This battle is with the enemy. And I’m choosing to say no to him and Yes to trusting God. It’s going to be a long flight, but God I can make it through with You!!!

Already I didn’t panic when we took off. I tried a little of the beef jerky. I ate the lunch with housin sause. I ate mango puree. I’ve been trying to care for my throat and congestion, but now the air is so dry it has dried me out and made it hard to breathe.

I gargled with a little salt water and I am using an elderberry zinc lozenge. I’m breathing into my hands to create more humidity and it probably helps regulate my breathing too.

So, God, I want to put on the full armour of God so that when the day of evil comes I’ll be able to stand my ground.

I’m going to pray!

Summer 2017

Pondering Hong Kong 4/27/17

Trip to HK

Costco List – April 2017

Meals April 2017